October's over, time to get personal

Today I found out that someone close to me had a benign breast biopsy.  It was a huge relief for us all and a really fitting way for me to close out this project.  This person is young and healthy, but spent the last few days in fear that she might have breast cancer.  I have to think there could be not be a worse month to think you might have breast cancer.

It took me back to the early days of this project when, in search of a spiral notebook, I came across some notes I had taken three years ago when I went through the very same thing.  Opening up the notebook took me through a wave of thoughts such as a) how do I still have so much stuff with the American Cancer Society logo on it b) thank the LORD it doesn't have a pink ribbon on it and c) it's a good thing I wrote everything down, because it is damn complicated to have breasts.

I went in to my annual at 31 years old TOTALLY prepared to get a referral to get my first mammogram.  While most women start mammograms at 40, those of us with a mother with breast cancer are lucky enough to get started 10 years prior to our mother's diagnosis.  Fortunately, I knew this and I had spent plenty of time mentally preparing for the doctor to tell me that it was time.

What I was not prepared for was for her to say "have you felt this?" during my clinical breast exam (if any guys are reading this...I'm sorry if this is too much information...I promise not to talk about speculums).  Now, the irony of this whole blog is that NO, I don't do self breast exams.  You know what else?  I don't floss as often as I should, either.  So NO, Doctor, I have NOT "felt this" and I have NO idea what you are talking about!  (To be honest, she put my hand right on it and I STILL couldn't feel it, which tells me I'd be horrible at self breast exams).

Needless to say, I'm glad I was at least prepared for the mammogram referral.  Now I got the "diagnostic" mammogram instead of just the regular screening exam.  Tears were held until the car.  I mean, we are talking about less than 6 months after losing my mom to breast cancer. 

So, long story short, I got a mammogram and ultrasound which revealed a black spot that looked like a black hole, essentially.  Really not the best sign on a mammogram.  My favorite part was the lady (another patient) who noticed my demeanor and followed me out to the parking lot to tell me that she was praying for me and that she understood.  Thanks, lady, your sentiments would only be better if you had some sort of pink ribbon balloon or pink edible arrangement for me.

The black hole turns out not to be good so I got to go back for a needle biopsy.  In turn, I got a call from my original doctor with the results (after 5 on a Friday, you KNOW this isn't good).  Well, ok, it wasn't good, but it wasn't bad, either.  Here's where the spiral notebook came in handy...what I have is known as Pseudoangiomatous stromal hyperplasia (PASH).  Aw, PASH sounds so cute!

It is benign, but is something that could end up becoming malignant.  She referred me to Dr. Shala Masood, one of the country's premier breast cancer experts (lucky for me, she's local...well, if you call Shands-Jacksonville local!).  I met with her a few times and we decided two things.  1) to do the BRCA genetic testing and 2) to have the mass removed.

So, at this point I have a rockin' scar, a stack of confusing medical bills filed away somewhere and somehow, I still don't do self-exams, even though Velveeta Shells & Cheese suggest I do.  I guess I have a bad attitude and a sense of inevitiability about it all.  Every now and then, especially in October, I have to give myself a reality check...I'm still a lot more likely to die of heart disease than breast cancer.  (And for the record, lung cancer is a greater cause of death in women than breast cancer, but you would NOT know that in October.)

I was glad that I was able to share my story and some bit of comfort with my friend.  I hope that in the end, I've helped open at least a few eyes to a different perspective on the pink ribbon. 

As all the pink crap heads to the discount aisles and the overstock stores, I feel pretty confident that I'll return to this blog every year and I hope that a lot of you will be ready to send me all the crazy pink stuff you see next year!  In the meantime, here are a few of the items I wasn't able to get to this month.  Enjoy and thanks for reading.

Day 31: Blenders, mixers and personal trimmers

On that same trip to Bed Bath & Beyond earlier this month where I hit my initial motherload, I took a picture of this KitchenAid mixer. To be one perfectly honest, one of my main motivations for ever getting married is so that I can register for one of these (not pink, of course).  It just seems like one of those things that you have to be given.  So, I was overjoyed to see this silly thing in pink.  I will say that I think my cousin Paige has one of these and Karissa would want one, too, but based on the color alone, not based on it's cancer fighting properties.

KitchenAid's "Cook for the Cure" will donate a minimum of $450,000 this year and they say they have donated $8 Million in the past 10 years to Susan G. Komen.  Among other things, you can get this mixer, blender, hand mixer, etc.  There is also a plate you can buy and give away and KitchenAid will give $5 to Komen. 

I can't say I have an particular problem with this.  Especially because someone who is investing in a PINK KitchenAid mixer is probably not actually buying it to support breast cancer but because they want a pink mixer.  I don't know why that makes me feel better but it does.

On the other hand.....pink Soda Stream bottles?  Well, I thought at first that it was just the bottles, but apparently you can buy the whole Soda Stream system (several different versions, in fact) as part of their, er..."Homemade Carbonated Beverages for the Cure" program.  Ok, I made that one up.  I guess they couldn't come up with a cute name.

5% of the proceeds from the sale of one of these things goes to Komen.  I actually support this product MORE for the fact that it is reducing plastic waste and creating healthier beverages.  My same arguement that I've had with all the other companies applies here...their donation of your money, again.

Thanks to my cousin Sara for sending me these.  I mean, who wouldn't want to fight cancer while brushing their teeth with this limited edition Sonicare?  OH, and if that wasn't enough, how 'bout while you are trimming your bikini line???

Philips will donate $100,000 over the next two years (again, their money, having nothing to do with how many toothbrushes and personal trimmers are sold) to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.

If you really want to be grossed out, go to the breast cancer search page of http://www.drugstore.com/ and check out the walker, CHI, Clarisonic, yoga mat and medicine organizer. 

Day 30: Facebook Ads

I'll admit it, I spend a TON of time on Facebook.  In fact, if you are reading this right now, you probably linked to it from my Facebook page.  With a bazillion users and growing every day, it is a powerful tool for marketing and marketing pink ribbon crap is no exception:

A small ad for deodorant popped up along the right-hand side of my Facebook page so of course, I had to click on it.  Naturally Fresh is running a breast cancer awareness campaign and is using Facebook to market it's deodorant.

The key selling feature is that you can use this deodorant while getting a mammogram and it will not obscure the results. 

If you've ever had a mammogram, you already know that you are not supposed to wear deodorant at all.  I think it has something to do with all the metals in standard deodorant (which have not been linked to breast cancer, despite the periodic e-mail chains to the contrary).  It isn't a huge hardship.  You get a mammogram once a year, so for a few hours until your appointment, you can't wear deodorant.  I try hard to avoid things like the gym, being in the heat, cooking and any other things that make me sweat until after my annual smooshing.  Then I put on some deodorant (but I still avoid the aforementioned actitvities).

I really can't see myself buying a deodorant that is useful for one day out of the year.  And, no offense to "natural" products, but my experience has been that when you shop like a hippie, you end up smelling like one, too.

I'm not going to go in to detail on all the other ones that I found, but a few snippets:

American Airlines "Fly For the Cure":  Wants you to "like" their page and pin a pink ribbon on the map where you live.  You can also go through a link on their page to donate directly to Komen.  AA is giving airline miles for your donations, so it is actually a pretty cool idea, in my opinion.  Plus, you are donating directly instead of via the corporation. 

Bank of America:  Been there, done that, see previous blog entry.

Good Cook's Hope:  It seems to me that there is a typo there, but I guess "cook's" could be posessive there, too.  Anyway, if you click on that ad it takes you to a Publix rebate form.  If you purchase a certain amount of P&G cookware, you get a rebate.  No indication of a donation, no indication of an organization that is funded, and even though "Good Cook" is a registered trademark, I can't seem to find the exact website for the organization.  This might be it, but I can't find any reference to breast cancer on their website.

I DID find out that they are based in Rancho Cucamonga, CA, which I just find totally hilarious to say.

Dress Barn's Pink Pledge:  Leave it to a place whose name makes you automatically associate yourself with a cow or horse before entering.  Dress Barn's "Pink Pledge" is basically just a place where you can go on and enter your contact information (for coupons and other information) and say you are going to take care of yourself.  I rank pledges to Dress Barn right up there with the Pledge of Allegience.  If I tell Dress Barn I'm going to do something, then surely me and the other 6,000 women who took the pledge will do it, too.  Oh, upload a photo?  Why sure.  Feel free to use my face in your marketing, Dress Barn.  You are what's right with corporate America what with us giving you our contact info in the name of a good cause and then promoting yourselves like you are actually doing something.

Woah.  Sorry 'bout that rant.  I think I'm mostly mad about the "barn" part.

Day 29: Velveeta Shells & Cheese

Pretty sure I wouldn't have made it through college without a diet rich in Velveeta Shells & Cheese.  I'm also nearly positive that the foil packet of "cheese" is not actually "cheese" by any non-American definition.  Regardless, I love me some

shells & cheese, so much so that I laughed out loud at Publix when I saw this box.  In fact, a stranger stopped me and asked me why I was laughing and taking a picture...it must have been quite the sight. 

Try as I might, I cannot find any information anywhere about Kraft's involvement in the fight against breast cancer.  The packaging says they are supporting the NBCF but there is no indication of any donation.  I THINK what is happening here is that they are using this back panel as their "education and awareness" and calling it a day. 

I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing because they do not seem to be claiming anything and their guidelines do match up with the generally accepted early detection guidelines.  But, I did spend a few

minutes Googling Kraft so I figured I'd throw some tidbits at you:

• Kraft, until recently, was owned by Phillip Morris.  I'm not going to get in to the tobacco issue, but if you think there isn't a link between cigarettes and cancer, you need to go find another blog to read.  Maybe on called "The Sky is Purple" or "Life with Your Head in the Sand".

• I've already noted this in an earlier blog, but there is no doubt that a healthy diet, low in fat, is known to decrease cancer risk.  18% of your daily saturated fat?  36% of your sodium?  No wonder this stuff is so delicious!

• Residents of a small town are linking increased breast cancer rates to industrial contamination in the 70s by companies, including Kraft.

• Studies linking increased consumption butter made from milk high in fatty acids decreases cancer risk.  One major funder of the study:  Kraft Foods.

So, I'm not going to come right out and say it, but considering this is from a few minutes of research, there is some pretty good evidence that maybe Kraft isn't all warm, delicious 'cheese' covered shells.

Some Updates and a Convenient Drop-Off Point for Licked Lids

Well, the month is coming to an end.  I am still completely overwhelmed by this whole experience.  One for the totally insane amount of pink ribbon items that I was able to find and two by the amazing support that so many of you showed for my efforts. 

Being new to the blogging world, it was really fun to learn how to do it and I might even keep it up!  The first time I figured out how to look at my stats, I was shocked by how many page views I had.  This month so far, over 1,500 from countries like Jordan (thanks Amie), Uganda and Angola!  I feel like those were probably also via Amie's sharing of my blog, but still, pretty cool.

One thing I've tried to do is hold companies accountable to what they are saying.  Unfortunately, I don't have the time or energy to follow-up with every one.  I think next year I'm going to work on a more aggressive approach...I've got a year to plan it now that I've dipped my toes in this pink water!

But, just a few updates:
Pink post-its and other junk from the Target end cap:  I made 4 calls in the course of a week and was told I'd get a call back each time.  I must have missed that call.

Tervis Tumblers:  This was the one where I had the online chat with someone in customer service.  She promised to get back to me.  It's been a week so I contacted "Jeni" again:

Please wait for a site operator to respond.

You are now chatting with 'Jeni'

Jeni: Thank you for visiting us today. My goal is to make you smile! I will research your inquiry and be with you momentarily.

Jeni: Hi Chris, How can I assist you today?

Chris: Hi Jeni. I contacted you last week regarding the breast cancer ribbon cups

Chris: you were going to e-mail me with the answer and I never heard from you

Chris: I was wondering how much of each sale is donated and to which organization.

Jeni: Sorry for the issue. What is your email address?

Chris: g8rchris@gmail.com

Jeni: Please hold one moment while I research the answer for you.

Chris: no problem

Jeni: Unfortunately the person that can give me this answer has been away. She is back and I should get an answer shortly. I will email you once she replies. I do apologize for the delay. 

Chris: Ok, thank you for letting me know. I look forward to your answer.

Pink In-Styler (rotating curling iron):  The company denied putting the sitcker on it.  They asked their supervisor and had no information.  Big pink brick wall.

Yogurt Lids:  I was SHOCKED when I saw this box at Publix (not at my regular Publix, but the one at Town Center).  You can bring your recently licked lids back and drop them in this box.  I guess they figured out that people were criticizing the mailing back concept.  I wonder how much this nice box and balloons cost...and if enough people are bringing in their lids to make it worthwhile.  I very seriously doubt it.

Day 28: The grossest gum ever

I've mentioned a few times that I haven't really had to seek anything out and I have actually challenged myself not to.  For example, in past years I know for SURE I have seen pink M&Ms but I have yet to walk down candy aisle looking for them.  But, I was perusing the candy at the cash register for some gum. 

This gaudy pink packaging was hard to miss and since I was in the market for gum, anyway, I decided I'd go ahead and fight some breast cancer with my purchase.

In case you are wondering, the flavor "Bubblemint" tastes like a bad day at the dentist's office.  Like when you ask for the mint flavor for the cleanser but the hygenist accidentally mixes in the kid's bubblegum flavor.  HURL. 

While I thought the packaging was pretty tacky, I had not prepared myself for what was inside.

They truly taste as stupid as they look.

Could the font be any bigger on the "10% of your purchase can help save lives"??  The funds are going to an organization called "Bright Pink".  This organization seems to have been formed by companies looking for somewhere to send their money and get some nice advertising out of it. 

The website purports to have all sorts of information, support, etc. but no actual content that I could tell.

I started hitting links, mostly the "find Bright Pink Events in your area" and "event photos", stuff like that to see if there were actual programs, events or even people involved in this organization or if it was just a bunch of corporations.

Bright Pink, you don't know how right you are.

Day 27: Gaudy drinkware and white zin cocktails

I am serious when I tell you, I'm not even seeking out this stuff.  I thought for sure this month that I'd be hunting around and LOOKING for things to write about.  Not the case at all.  Between what I'm just running in to and what people are sending me, I could make this a 3-month blog.  I'm not sure if my stomach could handle it but I definitely have the material.

So, as I strolled through Bealls last night looking for a new UF sweatshirt, I walked right in to a table full of wine, martini and champagne glasses. 

A:  They are ugly

B:  They are super overpriced

C:  I don't have a C, I just feel like every list like this should be at least three items long.

I flipped over the package to see if there was a donation and where it was going.  I almost fell over right there in the "Misses" section of Bealls.  A recipe for a "Pink Ribbon" cocktail.  Main ingredient?  White zinfandel.  I threw up in my mouth a little, it was awkward.

Well, Lolita Glassware, that just takes the ever-lovin' cake.  Oh, no it doesn't, because if you go their website, you can find sundae glasses, coffee mugs, a canteen and a candle holder, in addition to the alcoholic beverage containers.  SO many choices!

The packaging says that "a portion" of the proceeds are going to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.  I called the number on the website but the guy who answered (I call him "guy" because he never stated his name) said that I'd have to call the distributor, that they are just the retailer (even though it said "Lolita Glassware" next to the number).  Apparently I'm supposed to call Santa Barbara Ceramic Design.

Angie answered and indicated that some of the designs are retired but that she'll check the catalog and get me an answer.  She politely put me on hold where I have been sitting for a while now.  At least I have something to occupy my time here...writing about how I'm on hold.  Sweet.

Ok, she finally came back..."it looks like 10%".  Thanks, that sounded SUPER solid, Angie, thanks!

Well, I'm starting to run out of days and I still have SO much to write about, but here's what was sharing the table with the glassware.

Cheap, tacky watches.  No indication of any donation.  I'm not even going to bother tracking down this company. 

Bealls, thank you for this one, too.  Pink ribbon pajamas.  Yep, fight cancer by sleeping.  The hang tag says "a portion of the net proceeds will go to the fight against breast cancer."  I don't even know where to start with tracking this one down so in the interest of time and sanity, I'm not going to!

Oh, did you think I was done?  Well, I still had to check out and buy my spiffy new Gator sweatshirt (I'm saving the entire athleticwear department for another post).  In the meantime, write a note, save a life.

This is another one that says "a portion of the proceeds will go to breast cancer research, education and awareness".  We all know how I feel about that load of crap.  It also says "made in China", which, no offense to China, but my experience in looking up the Sharpie information tells me that the Chinese probably don't even know what this symbol is for.

Oh, so I just Googled "Breast cancer rates in China" and the first headline is that rates are increasing due to Chinese adopting more Western-style lifestyles.  So, I guess the blatant commercialism of the pink ribbon is not far behind.  Sorry, China.